Currently based in Chicago, IL, Unsolicited AF is a blog by Zarina Mendoza. Her posts take on dating problems your shitty friends are probably giving you the wrong advice on.

Practice The Art Of Conversation On Men You're Not Attracted To

Practice The Art Of Conversation On Men You're Not Attracted To

So you’re talking to an attractive guy you just met and out of the blue he says he’ll be right back or better yet, he has to go to the bathroom. You wait in the same spot to make sure he can find you again and after a good amount of time has passed, he’s still not back.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve messed up a conversation because you said the wrong thing, have choked up, mind gone blank, or felt as if you just couldn’t think of anything witty for the life of you with a hot man in your face, you’re simply out of practice.

Why your friends are shitty

Your friends will explain he’s a jerk, you can do better, blah blah blah. But there are only two reasons why he curved you:

  1. Sure, he may just not have been interested and was being nice to you.

  2. He was interested but then you opened your mouth and f*cked it up.

More likely being the latter, inside you knew that he didn’t ask for your number, didn’t offer to buy you a drink, or insinuated that he wanted to see you again because the conversation was not the bidness. Understandable… but don’t let it happen again because the next time a man comes around, you shall be prepared!

Not all men are assholes. Some men actually enjoy an intriguing banter but you couldn’t deliver because you’re out of practice.

Conversation is 100% a skill you acquire and some of us never make an effort to talk to strangers because we just don’t feel like it. I mean I get it, but it’s not helping you in the dating arena now is it? Stop this and start having conversations with randoms as practice!

Matthew Hussey, author of Get The Guy, suggests to do this three times a day. And it doesn’t have to be men hitting on you, but everyday strangers both men and women IN REAL LIFE — and your friends don’t count. Yes, I’m asking you to talk to all those annoying people who try to start conversations with you:

  • The rideshare drivers who always ask where you’re from. Just tell their nosey asses and ask them back… you know they’re dying to tell you.

  • The overly nice Trader Joe’s cashiers who won’t stop ranting about the Cauliflower Gnocchi in your cart. Reply back with a “but how about these Cornbread Crisps thoooo?!”

  • Keep complimenting the girls in the public bathroom but when you’re not drunk and not at an after-hours bar!

  • Force yourself to learn the names of the doorman, your local barista, bartender, waiter, whoever.

Be that annoying person who can talk to anyone and everyone. You can do it! It’s for the better and who knows? Maybe one of those randoms will have a friend they could introduce you to.

Regardless, just start up conversations so that when you actually meet someone you’re attracted to, you’ve already practiced speaking to people all day. And I do promise that when you practice chitchatting with more folks, the conversation with an actual guy you like will be easier than if you had not. So leave your small talking, deer in headlights, choking ass behind so you can have a deeper, meaningful conversation with the man you want. Because when you do this, he’ll be more likely to take the steps in asking you out on a first date. And speaking of getting the first date, coming up next are the different ways I avoid small talk at all costs, cut the bullshit and go straight into the deep questions when first meeting a guy.

Avoid Small Talk & Build Chemistry From The Moment You Meet

Avoid Small Talk & Build Chemistry From The Moment You Meet

Don't Wait On Men To Hit On You 'Cause Chances Are You'll Never See Them Again

Don't Wait On Men To Hit On You 'Cause Chances Are You'll Never See Them Again